I feel like writing..pt 1

Tonight is just one of those nights were you are so overflowing w/ emotions you feel like you could right a 300 page novel. LOL I have been majorly slacking in my academics and not pushing myself to my maximum capability. But, something is going on inside of me and I'm not sure what to feel or how to feel and I just really feel CONFUSED.. I have been in many relationships were I felt like I was "in love" about 6 I would say. Half of them were like puppy PUPPY love. like middle school sweethearts LOL. But half of them were pretty serious. I dated 1 guy on and off 2 years, of pure hell. But when you love somebody you don't care about the consequences you just can't help but love them. But he hurt me REALLY bad. The 2 one was 7 months, He was and is one of my best friends. I broke up w/ him b/c I was 16 and he wanted to like marry me ASAP. LOL. He was 19.. I reallllllly really hurt him. bad. to the point where he was not eating and when he did eat he would throw up. It was terrible but some how he saw past that later and now He IS married w/ a beautiful baby girl Gabby. and we are still BFF. the 3rd was the STUPIDEST relationship I have EVER gotten myself into. The whole relationship was long distance, We saw each other like 5 days a month and we dated for 6 months. By the 3rd month he started to annoy me so much w/ his ignorance I could have shot him!! NO LIE! But I didn't understand why I felt that way b/c I thought I liked him soo much. But in reality I didn't know him at all. So our 3rd month was really like our 3rd time seeing each other.. He kept fallin more and love and I just wanted to get rid of him! I tried to overlook things b/c sometimes I felt like I was too harsh, but then he got me a ring, and I broke up w/ him before he gave it to me. He went psycho threw it at me.. then 3 weeks later we started going to the same school [ Liberty] and he called the cops on me to get the ring back? yea.. PSYCCHOOOO LOL